How Long?

By Rachel Durbin


"How long Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemies triumph over me?

Look on me and answer Lord my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death, and my enemies will say "I have overcome him" and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lords praises for he has been good to me."

Psalms 13, NLT

Did you read that and think maybe you were the one who wrote Psalm 13?!

Questions pour from your prayers and then maybe you think that you shouldn't question God... So, if you are like me, you quickly turn it around into praise because in your heart you truly desire to trust God. You know your salvation rests only in Him and you count your many blessings.

But, the questions...still...come.

I love David's writings! (David wrote Psalm 13 and many of the songs that make up the book of Psalms in the Bible.)

He is so real.

He feels so forgotten and scared.

He TELLS God to "look on me and answer". This is not a request! David TELLS the Lord what he wants Him to do! You know what? I believe God's feelings are not hurt. I believe God's shoulders are big and strong and can carry our questions. He may or may not answer the way we want. But He is big enough to listen to us question and even tell Him how we think He should be working.

What I love about David's writings is that they reflect DEEP feelings of despair and desperation and in the next breath express DEEP trust and comfort.

I have these same roller coaster feelings.

I feel less like a failure when I see "the man after God's own heart" (God calls David this in the Bible) expressing the same feelings I have.

Will you read and just sit with Psalms 13 and reflect on it? Could you have written this chapter with all the things going on in your life? Do you hear the Lord comforting you through David's words at the end?

"But I trust in your unfailing love."

"My heart rejoices in your salvation."

"I will sing the Lord's praises for He has been good to me."

Here is my prayer of thanksgiving for this scripture. I encourage you to write out your own. Be real. Tell God how you feel.

"Lord, you answer my prayers so perfectly well! And you bring comfort for my emotions through the words of David. You constantly let me into your presence even when I have expressed MAJOR doubt in you. You prove yourself over and over to me even when You don't have to. I have such a deep love and desire for you Lord. Thank you for the hunger I have for you and your Word! I claim the words in Mark 9:24 when the man says 'I believe, but help my unbelief.'"

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Tags: Self

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