By Rachel Durbin

I’ve been asking God a lot lately where He is.

Warning: Vulnerable post ahead


I had not heard the song “Evidence” by Josh Baldwin until this morning on my way to work.

It has wrecked me today.

I’ve been asking God a lot lately where He is. Not only where He is in the world outside my door, but where is He in my marriage, in my parenting, in the health of my family and friends, even down to my time I set aside in the mornings to spend with him… I don’t feel Him there a lot lately. I sometimes feel like I’m just reading words on a page. I used to hear him so clearly, and so often, and so loud! My journal entries were pages long, or even if they were short, they were powerful things I was hearing from Him. But, where is He now? I believe he is always with me, but man is He quiet. I have pages and pages of journal entries that are just the text that I’m reading that day, and prayers for Him to speak to me…. And then…….blank……

The lyrics of this song say “I see the evidence of your goodness all over my life. I see Your promises in fulfillment all over my life”

There He is friends.


My whole life.

His goodness is woven into my whole life.

  • The Holy Spirit called me into a relationship with Jesus 27 years ago….there He is.

  • I prayed for snow as a 3 year-old living in Savannah Georgia (where it never snows) and it snowed TWICE that year!! There He is.

  • I prayed for siblings growing up and now I have an amazing sister and brother… there He is.

  • I prayed for a friend in 6th grade and God sent me a friend who is now my husband… there He is.

  • I have always had the things I need… there He is.

  • I prayed for Him to make me a mom…. I now have my daughter through the gift of adoption… there He is.

  • I have prayed that He would use me in the work of His Kingdom and I get to share His word with kids and families every week, and sometimes every day!! There He is.

Is He quiet in my quiet time right now…. yeah… but if I look back over my life the evidence of His presence is LOUD!!

With all that is going on right now and so many people have questions about RIGHT NOW. What better way to answer my questions right now about and His faithfulness than reminding me about His faithfulness in the past?! Did all the outcomes of my prayers look exactly like what I was thinking… NO! It looks SO MUCH BETTER!

I know that not everyone's stories of His goodness and faithfulness is like mine. I know that I have a privilege that is not part of everyone's story. And I’m not talking about privilege though. Material things is not what this is about, although He has used material things to answer some of my prayers and show me His presence.

I just want to share my experience of the past faithfulness of God. Sometimes the past is what aids us in our present circumstances. I want to encourage you, if God feels far, and silent, you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. I also know my God! I know He is faithful when I am faithless. I know He has a plan. I know He is the same yesterday and today and forever! So, if you are struggling in the “right now” let's look back at the yesterdays and remember His faithfulness.


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